Dear Mom, book #14

 Seems fitting that this book about teenagers is #14, when Rebecca will be 14 this August.  I'm just random like that.

And, yes, this is nonfiction book #2 in one week and I'm starting another one tomorrow.  I have no idea what has gotten into me.  

But this book has ROCKED MY WORLD!!!  It says it was written by Melody Carlson (a popular YA Christian author) but I'm pretty sure it was actually written by Rebecca Campbell.  Melody takes on the persona of a girl teen when writing this book, thus making it seem like your daughter is actually talking to you.  And I'm pretty sure Rebecca Campbell would be saying these very things to me if she could.  For example, page 4:

..say I'm striving to be kinder to those around me.  I know it's the right way to be, so I'm thinking kind thoughts and asking God to help me change this area of my life.  Suddenly my younger sister, without even asking, borrows my favorite Lucky jeans and returns them ripped and dirty and buried in the bottom of my dirty-clothes hamper.

Well, that kindness goes right out the window.  Can you blame me? Yes, as a matter of fact, you can blame me, and you do.  After baby sister runs crying to you, saying that I just called her mean names and threatened her life (which may or may not be true), you side with her.  You put on your stern face and point out that I'm being selfish and mean, which really aggravates me. 

I cannot help defending myself, which only makes me look worse.  Okay, it makes me look way worse.  My voice gets loud, and my anger flares.  Will I back down? Will I admit that maybe I've been a bit harsh or a little cruel or even slightly vicious to baby sister?  Will I apologize right then and there?  Probably not, but I'm thinking about it.  Maybe I even want to bury the hatchet, but not when you're forcing me, Mom.  Not if you're scowling and shaking your finger at me ...

Well that pretty much how things start out and go "downhill" from there.  But oh my stinkin' cow did this book open my eyes and take all my question mark pieces I had about her and start putting them together.  Not all of them, for as the author says numerous times, "maybe I will, and maybe I won't.  Remember, I'm just a teenager."  All I all, I do see improvement coming to our relationship if I can just remember the things I learned.  Each chapter had a short list or two of the highlights, so I think I am going to copy those and just reread them every day.

Highly, highly, highly recommend to anyone with pre-teen or teenage girls!!!

Hear your daughter’s heart…
without the angst, arguments, or arm-wrestlingRaising a teen daughter can be like trying to chart a course underwater. You can drown in an ocean of one-word answers, defensive conversations, and unpredictable outbursts, and never get anywhere. Popular teen girls’ novelist Melody Carlson helps you cut through murky, deep, uncharted and seemingly unsafe waters so you can hear what your daughter’s really trying to tell you through her anger, silence, and mixed messages:

“I need you, but I won’t admit it.”
“I’m not as confident as I appear.”
“I have friends. I need a mother.”

Instead of focusing on outward behaviors, Dear Mom captures your daughter’s heart and soul. You can know your daughter’s hopes and fears, doubts and dreams about her identity, guys, friendships, and even you. And you can connect on a deeper, more intimate level that will carry both you and your daughter through the stormy seas of life.

(picture and description from amazon.com)